Biog of a skinny girl

You Need to understand !

If a man doesn’t call you it’s because he doesn’t want to call you . If he doesn’t invites you to go out it’s because he doesn’t want to meet you . If he treats you like shit it’s because he doesn’t care . If he let’s you go it’s because he doesn’t want to be with you.

Don’t keep playing his confusing games . Don’t justify his mistakes . Stop being genuine and naive and stop listening his every excuse and complications and put yourself first.

You DO NOT need someone that doesn’t see your worth . You do not need someone who doesn’t see efforts you put everyday to be perfect even though you’re not . You deserve a man that knows your worth and fights for you everyday.

Stop breaking your heart for someone who probably won’t be as good as you expect.

Do not allow him to consume you , if he doesn’t call go to sleep . If he doesn’t message put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway . If he acts distant and refuses to tell what is wrong , Don’t wait for him .
Be home and do something you love and always wanted to .

If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment ignore him completely .

If he says terrible unforgettable things and threatens to leave you after every fight , walk away from him .

You live for yourself he’s a secondary part of your life , do not let him make you the secondary character of your own book .

Call me pathetic. Call me heartsick, a masochist, ridiculous for hanging on to something that isn’t there. Roll your eyes and say you don’t get it. Judge me for admitting that I still sit up at night hoping that maybe you’re awake and thinking about me too.

I miss you and I’m done feeling bad about it .

I think there’s this beleif that once you move on , once you heal from being hurt that you’re never supposed to ache about someone ever again .

That there is an expiry date of everything,. As your love fade away , my pain and loneliness will also .

But that’s bullshit !

When you love someone , you love them deeply , they are connected to you .
They are in your every second , every minute . They become your home.

So , when they are gone it’s obvious to miss them , it’s natural to become homesick for places and people.

And sometimes I can’t help it , I’m homesick for you.

Not all time . I don’t obsess , don’t dwell , but sometimes i miss you and want to run up to you when something good or bad happens to me . Sometimes i just want to hear your voice .

Sometimes i just wanna talk to you ,maybe i can mend your heart with mine .

You know what it feels to be called someone’s fling , you know that guy? The one you trusted on as a good friend, as a person who was there for you in all your wax and wane .

They seemed really great at first ,unlike all the others you’ve met earlier , but the tables turned and you never knew that it could hurt this much !

No; you don’t deserve this , never in your life .

You don’t deserve to be a fling , every part of you deserved to be loved.

You deserves to be loved whole heartedly, passionately and with mutual respect.

Not only the respect as a human being but emotional respect , respecting each other’s true value and ensuring them not to play ‘head games and phone games,’

You deserves not to be loved for your looks , status or for sex, but for the person you’re , you want to be.

It’s not fair for them to toy someone’s feelings just because you’re ready to unveil your vulnerable side in front of them .

Honey , you need to understand they aren’t allowed to have someone in every town they visit .

You deserves to be with someone who’s ready to see the unedited side of you.

Is it a crime to be fat or thin or dark skinned or just being yourself ?

Does everything has to be in parameters? Why is there a scale for everything?

Why can’t just for once, I can live & be the way I want to be not what the society wants me to be?

Why do I feel like I’ve been trapped and tortured?

I am envious, hurt & angry at myself and everyone around me. Everything is a mess in my life.

I just want to be happy, just once in my life I want to be happy the way I am, the way I look, the way I walk, the way I talk.

For once I don’t want to be judged by anyone.

Is it too much to ask? Why can’t I be happy being imperfect?

A lot of questions, but who has the answers?

Maybe I need to find them myself, maybe they are already there & I cannot see them, maybe I am too afraid to find them.

It’s like the worst feeling in the whole world. It’s like getting sucked into a black hole , when someone asks me ” why are you so thin? Have your mama don’t give you food.”

I have been victim of these questions for a while and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this !

And the funniest part is that I am not even trying to fight . I just don’t want to . Because I know this world is not going to accept it’s fault !

I don’t want to feel anything, I try to numb everything, my emotions specially.

I know you may find all of these thoughts bizzare but that’s how my feelings are.

No, I am not alone, I have people who care a lot about me and I care about them.

But I just don’t know where am I going. I don’t have a direction nor do I have a dream.

My emotions are a mess and I don’t know what to do next !